Sexy Young and Sexy Old and What Those Special Binoculars Do!
Posted: Wednesday, August 04, 2010
by Christofer French
Rain Dancer Associates, LLC
Looking Back Through Two Viewfinders
Life is full of strange contradictions. We tend to discount what we have done, and done successfully, because it was our strength, and our interest, we pursued it for various good reasons, and lo and behold, we have written a record: 10 years of career, 25 years of raising kids, three job changes handled artfully and successfully, elegant marriage that blesses you, two marriages that somehow you balanced through change and now no regrets. Consistencies, plans achieved, mountains climbed, things you wanted on your resume, experiences you wanted to have. Whatever it is, as you proceed through life, you can actually cheapen your record, just because you are familiar with it. Its yours, and its like an old book that you used to read, but now you tire of. For many life can tend to work that way.
You can hear it at bars, restaurants and churches. People talk about their own profession or occupation with light-hearted disdain. " Yeah, I'm the local barber, everybody tells me their secrets, after awhile you kinda figure out how to cut them hairs. " " Oh, anybody can do what I do, but your job sounds very challenging. " The Viewfinder of the Known loses its colors. If you are not careful, a gray cast can affect the picture you see. And why? Not because its not interesting. Because its yours, and you know it so well, and even though people admire it, to you, its the " same ole, same ole " . But you must be careful, this can lead to an " ennui " . That is French for boredom, but deeper and bluer and grayer and more despondent. When this ennui starts taking over, it can crawl all over you like a caterpillar of flu-like symptoms. Do not let yourself look through this binocular. Color your daily life with a sense of appreciation that your life has worked well. You chose it. You worked at it. Yes, because of our marvelous human minds, we can subsume most activity to the unconscious. Everything that we do over and over, ultimately becomes less thrilling, and more " minimizeable " . But just because that is the way of things, that does not mean that you should permit yourself to drift into all of those pitfalls. Continue to say to yourself: " This is my life. I am proud of it. I am happy I have accomplished what I have. This is mine to embrace. "
Maximization of the New and Unfamiliar
These binoculars make the world go around, in many ways, but it is also the aspect that leaves wrecked lives, fighting at cross purposes, spent resources and hearts broken because they were tantalized. Tantalization is what we go through. When we are 14. We explode. When we are 21, we go to a beach and do more " self expression " ...and then the new and unfamiliar become things to be sought. But when the other bincoluar starts really taking over, we ask ourselves: " Hey what happened to this sex thing when you are soooo plastered. It used to be so great " . 100 events later, you discover why the French invented the word " ennui " . But that does not stop us. We pick up the Maximizing Viewfinder and wear it around our necks and draw constant comparisons to the new through one pair of binoculars, and the old through the lets-make-it-all mundane binoculars. Somehow this process never ends. Until we get a certain amount of miles on us, and become trained in this strange set of contradictions, this conundrum can go on and on and on.
Take The Binoculars Off
Your score card can get murdered if you keep up this kind of thinking. Your real, wonderful, sweet, predictable, sane life can end up feeling like a prison sentence. Your unreal, vain, imagined, nonexistent, on again off again life can seem like a beckoning siren that lures you constantly to the island with no beaches and rocky shores. The Greeks came up with this image for a reason. Our eyes, our ears and our nose can lead us into straits that don't allow a return. Or if you do manage to make it back, you wonder what the " ______ " you were doing. Age and getting old, as they call it, do tend to help us in this regard. This process can have a way of smartening you up. If you take the binoculars off early enough in your life, you can let things work more naturally. A life lived without all of this psycho comparative noise would be truly uplifting for many brow beaten souls with self-inflicted wounds.
The Sexy New, The Sexy Old
Certainly there are things that draw us onward, beckon to us, and make us go cross-eyed with desire. But, you use your consciousness, you strategize, you measure the cost of the investment, you decide what you are after that is so new and wonderful and you focus on your plan. This I call the " Sexy New " . But the old can be sexy too. Its just that the value and the warmth are different. " The Sexy Old " may take some staring at. OK, it actually has to have some inherent value to you. But the older you get, the more you see how " inherent value " is a mighty important term. How did that thing get its " inherent value " . Oh nothing really, just decades of love and investment and care. Just heartfelt donation of time and effort and sweat. Nothing at all. JUST YOUR LIFE!
" You're Old Aren't You? "
The kid asked the couple at the park. " Both of you are old. " The old couple smiled at the childs impertinence, but sweet open innocence. " Do you like her? The boy looked at the old man. " Yeah, because she is mine, and she loves me, and I don't have to introduce myself to her every day. " The boy looked over at the carousel. " Suzy. See her...right over there. Shes the one with red hair. I like her. She is prettier than your girl friend. " The old man smiled and turned to look at the red hair. " Does she like you? " The boy stopped for the longest moment. " She said she might like me someday. " The man thought of an observation. " You see, she doesn't like you yet, and she might not even like you at all -- ever. But you're interested because shes exciting isn't she? " The boy admitted so. The man thought long and asked: " Any other girls you like. " " Amanda always smiles at me. She is not as pretty. " The man leaned forward. " Maybe you don't like Amanda because she is so familiar to you. You've known her a long time? " He nodded absently: " Shes my next door neighbor. "
The old man and the boy did not speak for awhile. Then the old man offered up a thought. " You know what, my wife here, she was my next door neighbor, but there was something I liked about her. She, now she, would not look at me. I had to really be friendly with her for a long time before she would like me. " The boy perked up. " Mister, I am going to go and talk to Amanda. She is prettier than I said she was. "
Reflection over a positive life experience. Relishing the good. Ennobling the well done. These are meant to leave a wonderful taste in your mouth for the rest of your life and beyond. Your well-lived life need not be subjected to fool hardy minimization through the familiarity of our own brain. And the other binoculars? Use them, sure, make big plans and start some schemes. But remember King David was all powerful in his world and had these binoculars on his chest, even though Bathsheba was just under his overly focused eyes. These binoculars are wired to the raging imagination. The minimizer binoculars are wired to the tired brain. Christofer French is the Founder of Astrologygetalong.com, and has a Psy.D. from California Coast University.
This Article has been viewed 1,484 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (0 total)No comments yet.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.