Kissing Seminar 101 - Men, It's an Art, Not Athletics
Posted: Friday, January 28, 2011
by Christofer French
Rain Dancer Associates, LLC
Kissing is a volatile topic. It covers so much.
“Technique” is a word that comes to mind. How to become a better kisser because you learn to have a talented lower lip and a delicate bite, and a provocative probing tongue. Technique is important, but any musician will tell you: “Technique doesn’t make the art.”
To men kissing is like something that is very helpful, but minor in importance. It’s a way to keep her locked in stimulating activity while he thinks about what has been, what’s next, and where you are both physically going.
Male Thinking
To a logical MALE thinker - kissing has to do with locale and the history of the couple.
1) Kissing early in the relationship: Important because it’s early on, and is not going to lead to sex – and therefore you kiss a certain way.
2) Kissing that might lead to sex, but the place to have sex has not been covered, and the decision to have sex has not been made.
3) Kissing that most likely will lead to sex because you pretty well have decided, and you are a rabbit’s jump close to somebody’s bed.
4) Kissing that is definitely leading to sex.
5) Kissing during the act of sex.
6) Kissing that is post-coital and “romantic”.
7) Kissing that is a “good night” or “good bye” kiss.
Because men think like this; which again is logical and clock oriented, men’s kissing can be thus described: hurried, sloppy, aggressive, losing interest, repetitive, inattentive, bored, roughly passionate, penetrating.
Women Disclose Often
A:
Women will say happily, “Oh, he’s a good kisser, and you know, I was really so surprised. It’s like he’s so good looking that it’s like he could want you to do all the work, you know?”
B:
Or, just as shocked: “He is like so boring a kisser. It’s like he doesn’t really like it. He wants to get to all the other stuff really fast. And you know, he’s so cute, that you’re thinking. Kissing is a bother to him.”
C:
“Oh my Gawwwd, he shoved his tongue all the way down my throat. I mean OK, I’m not against that, but not two seconds after we started, and you know, I don’t know him that well!”
D:
“Oh he is so wonderful. He doesn’t eat your mouth up; he approaches with little nibbles. It’s like he cares about my feelings and my face, and myself. You know? It’s like if I wanted him to, he would continue like that for a long time.”
E:
We have been kissing for a long time, but each time we kiss, you can feel him slowing down. Pausing. Caring. Breathing me in. Softly, delicately, he kisses just one part of my lip and my ear lobe, and my eye. And he has been doing this for years.”
F:
“Yeah, I had a new guy. Kind of shy, but a great person. He stops in the middle of his kissing, and says: “Am I going too fast?” Now how did I meet this guy?”
From These Perspectives
Of course there is a goal oriented step-by-step, caress-by-caress nature to the loving romantic and sexual act. But this should not be announced with the gong of the bell. It should be quietly, mysteriously and floatingly handled. So men, have to think about the steps, they should simply not be being observed going through the steps. Kissing is a PRELUDE to all the mechanics, and the energy, and the groaning and screaming and physicality of sex. The Male and Female have to be observing and they are the observed. It is a wrestling match that is hidden inside the art and movements of each participant.
The Men have their inherent perspective and the Women have theirs. The importance of Kissing is that it initiates and maintains symbolically what you two are about. But it also disguises the passion by pointing to our little affectionate act.
Aha! “Maybe kissing is all we are going to do”. It is this subtlety that adds to the beauty. And at the same time, kissing is saying: “Guess what we’re going to do.”
If men can involve themselves in the disguises and the passionate indications and still focus on that individual, not that object, then he will get that sweet little attestation at the afternoon tea: “Oh, he is one good kisser.” In so doing, he might be patching up and healing where he was not quite aware.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Interesting article Christofer. I'm curious to see if brings any responses from some the men, especially with Valentine's around the corner.Valentine's Day Prep. I feel that this is not the kind of thing that men comment on. There's an "I knew that, don't you think I knew that" to the male species.
Hmmmm... very nice Chistofer.It's a great topic isn't it?
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