Sexual Magnetics and the Tense Duality of Male and Female
Posted: Monday, March 07, 2011
by Christofer French
Rain Dancer Associates, LLC
You would not believe what he looked like. Spindly, and I mean spindly legs that he barely filled out in his 50 year old jeans. The jeans were 50. He was 75 if he was a day. But, if he told you he was 89, you’d say: “Sure.”
He did have cute curly silvery hair that just sprouted everywhere, like he watered it every day. Those deep blue eyes sawing into your exterior defenses. He reminded me more of an old woman actually. He was not androgenous, more like everywhere at once.
“So what’s the wisdom for the day gramps?” Charlie made a pest of himself usually, was good for jumping to the point. “You rent this hunting spot out for umpteen grand; you gotta have some free advice for us wet behind the ears types.”
“Technologically I leave much to be desired, but I have a few secrets that you all care about.” Jamison, that was his name, was always winking, as if you should’ve picked up on something he just said.
I can’t tell you how to field dress a moose. Hell, I just drive down to the local grocer. If you put me out in the woods, I would just crawl back to this here cabin. And I think it’s wonderful about life after the horse.”
Mac piped right up. “Then what the hell are you good for Jamison?” All the guys laughed.
“I got answers. Answers about women, and if you take the brine and the uncrushed seeds out of the mix, it’s almost digestible.” Jamison slapped his knee as he poured fresh blistering coffee into tin cups.
“Well, that’s great because they are the most confusing things in the world.” Leon felt released.
“Well Veevay la diffairahnce as the French say. Hell, we are made worlds apart, and that’s for when we get into each other’s arms, the Moon comes crashing down on us!” Jamison was proud of that.
Women are the World!
Jamison glowed. “Now there’s where your very question is wrong. Women ARE the world. Men are hear to observe, impregnate, build houses and think everything is discoverable or knowable. And yet the world is undiscoverable and unknowable. It is just for exploring. Women do not have to provide any answers. They can be, feel, sing about and generally manifest any condition they want. You are to be confounded!”
I trumped up: “Let’s go home then. That was plenty enough for me.” Charlie was thinking. “Let him go on. “
“First thing you gotta learn stuff you don’t want to learn. But if you can hear it, you might can learn it. If you can’t hear it, then to hell with ya. This is what I call being confounded.”
“What if we don’t like it? Mikael was really listening.
“Oh, there’s only parts of it you’ll like. And much of it won’t even make any sense!” Jamison was starting to sound ornery. “With women you have to care…but then that starts with Lesson Number One. Oh well, forget it. It’s like bearin’ a child to talk about it anyway. Can you imagine a man bearin’ a child?”
All the boys said: “Go ahead old man.”
That’s the first thing right there. They resent the hell out of you that you don’t bear children. I didn’t say they resent bearing children. I said they resent you for not having to go through the pain and all of the off putting nature of child rearing. But of course, they want your help. But they want to give the orders about that stuff, unless they feel helpless, or like they are about to give up. Then they really want your help. But they still resent you. They think we have an edge because we don’t squat. And then when you come in and you do what they hoped you would, then they smile a little bit, but just in case you get the idea that they are happy with you, they hold back their praise, cause, damn, you’re supposed to do all that. You know. For the price of sex and all.”
“That’s primitive, man.” Mikael was offended.
“I’m just an old stinker stuck in the mountains, don’t believe me!”
For the Price of Sex and All
“Yeah, tell us about that their subject”, Leon threw in.
They have to put the sex thing in a dramatic context. Hold it back, give it. Have you been good enough for me to give it out. I’m bored, I need it, so put it out Mister. Like that you know? When men start playing that game, it don’t work. I mean, it works, but then the marriage doesn’t work. You know what I mean? The marriage is more like a battlefield. It’s all challenging you know. It’s full of pain and struggle and not being sure, and then lo and behold realizing its gonna work. Ah, hell.” He through a twig across the cabin, straight out the door.
So, if something works for a man it ruins the relationship. If something works for a woman, even if it’s confounding and unfair, it works for the relationship and that’s what counts.”
It’s the Giving That Women Do.
“That’s how a bunch of men would put it. But that’s OK, you know. Cause men forget that women give themselves. It’s not just the supply and demand of sex, it’s the importance and significance of sex for women. It’s important even if they act as if it’s just a roll in the hay.”
Here’s the key. Women can be just troubled water. If you sail through troubled water with your sleek yacht, it doesn’t matter, because they are troubled water. You’re just a sleek yacht. Anybody can sand and shellac. Who can hover over a disquieted heart and bring solace from some far off place and ease the turbulence?”
“Jamison, that was downright pretty”. I was starting to like him.
Being Confounded And Looking Cool
What I am sayin’ is men start off base, and stay off base, because they aren’t playing baseball. Women aren’t playing baseball. They’re playing their own game, and you have to keep a happy look on your face, and be willing to look dumb, feel foolish at times, and stop and start at performing the great art of your life. Being confounded and looking cool. But it’s only baseball when you talk about “getting to 2nd base.” That’s about women’s body parts, not their head and heart parts.”
Leon had a question as he did his nails. “So why do women get all cuddly and wild crazy in love and want to possess the hell out of you?”
“Cause you’re a man. You’re job is to be a man while you are being confounded and cool. Bring in a big paycheck, of if you can’t do that, be reliable and steady. If you have the paycheck, women have lots of give when it comes to fame and glory and riches and wild “who the hell is that cowboy” feelings. How many of us see football stars, leaders, rich guys, eggheads – actually almost anybody that gets social attention. The girls are hot for them, right? They can be as ugly as a knotty fence post.”
So, you’re better lookin’ than your rich buddies who have the babes. You’re probably smarter than them too, but still they get the babes; but you gotta stay poised. Be confounded and cool, and you will eventually win a woman that rewards you, and one that you can cherish.
The Primal Fear – Being Cuckolded
Now, here’s where men get real nervous and very uncool. And if this starts eating at you, it’s bad. See men can be cuckolded and women can hide who the father is. Basic nature. So a woman can use more interesting sperm and lovers and get away with it. And thus men can be tricked into raising another’s child. This can cause a powerful unsettling negative feeling. Here is where you don’t want to be confounded and it’s hard to play it cool. In some ancient cultures, they stopped trying to track the Daddy. But that kind of makes things fall apart. The tribe loses strength if it loses the family.
The urge is to find the wild and the unpredictable. The ones they complain about all day long. They have urges going. The “I want a husband” is a basic urge. But as soon as she has that, then she starts going down her list of Option A, Option B and C. Rough guy, romantic guy, funny guy.
But there is one thing that is absolute death and men know it. --- “Man, Jim’s second kid looks just like Mike. How do they handle that at the camp out?”
This is the why of male jealousy and it abides in each male like a little virus. But don’t let it grow.
The Undiscovered Country
Leon spoke up. “I have heard this stuff before.”
Jamison stops. He looks at him hard. “You have that I don’t like to be confounded look on your face. The key question with women is “How much does this bother you? And how much do you like this?” Remember, you don’t have to get along with the whole female race; one beautiful complex human being at a time is plenty.
Jamison stood and looked out the mirror. “A 40 year old woman just left her husband of 25 years because he did not think of her as his intellectual equal. And he did not address her as an emotionally mature person. The truth is he shut her off from psychological linkage. It was Marriage, Incorporated, you know?”
He was totally confused and cried for months. Hell, he probably still can’t tell you why. He just says: “We were different”. In my mind he is an idiot. But he has a degree, and thinks the world of himself.”
“She was the undiscovered country that once he landed on it, he could not qualify to give directions. ”
Magnetized Opposites Bound for Union on the Other Side of the Moon
“For every couple that becomes a real lasting couple, there is great bewilderment and wrestling with oppositional everything. But that’s the way we’re made. Then if we are really real, we go to the Moon and meet on the opposite side and collide in a melting bliss that makes us all better - here and there, and again, and again. And damn, if it isn’t all worthwhile, and then you see that sure enough women do make the world, and sure enough they do give all of themselves, and that’s the way it goes when it works. And sure enough men do have to stay just a bit confounded, and kind of “andro cool” and in that stasis of flux we secure our futures with our hearts and our souls. And if we can actually get there, the Moon is a great place to visit.”
Jamison kicked us out of the cabin to go hunting after he made a rasher of omelets with spinach and feta cheese. He made a point that the high rental rate was not for the high mountain advice, but for the excellent eggs.
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