The Genie Gains his Genes, and then he Dons his Jeans!
Posted: Wednesday, June 29, 2011
by Christofer French
Rain Dancer Associates, LLC
The Genie Gains his Genes, and then he Dons His Jeans
Deep in a strangely vast cave in the northern Canadian Rockies, three Mountaineers are returning with a local guide, a Canadian with Native American blood. One year ago, they had happened into the Cave and surprised a sleeping Creature – a Genie.
One Year Ago
“Or, since there are three of you, I can grant each of you one wish. Everyone stood in a state of paralysis. A minute ago, they were complaining about the windy mountainous air, and now they were seemingly entombed with this humanoid creature.
“I Want to be Human!”
Charlie, Max and Lou were buddies from their youth in Chicago. They all three looked at each other. Max grinned. Lou was intrigued and Charlie creeped forward, as if to get a smell of the blue body.
"Be careful now, last century a man asked that his wife be happy, and she promptly left him and married a millionaire. Providence has a way which can be strangely ingenious and very generous.” The Genie kind of bounced with a staccato vocal pattern, hit some high notes then let his voice drop to a hollow low.
“This is the part I love the most, telling humans I am a Genie, and then granting them wishes. I am never afraid of being hurt or dismissed, because humans are so adventurous and always in a state of desire. It does not take them long to figure out what they want.” Charlie touched his blue skin. He licked his finger to see if there was a different taste. “But I have been doing this a long time. Unlike most Genies, I want to become a human!”
“I already don’t like you.” Charley dropped his sleeping bag on the floor of the cave, and began making a fire. “I don’t think you’re for real.”
I am “for real” as you say. Did you come up here with a golden flask filled with Tequila?” Charley reached into his bag and pulled it out. He was astounded. He quickly took a sip. He looked with an accusatory manner. "Lou, did you have anything to do with this? Max?” Lou and Max just closed their eyes with impatience. They opened their hands in an honest kind of body language that said “No, way”.
The Proposal – A Special Deal
“I have a proposal for you. I can give you what you ask for, or tell you what I think you need. In order for me to qualify to become a human, I must be wise enough and profound enough to convince you to forego my material blessing and accept my secret offering of wisdom.”
Charley spoke up. “We get us a magic blue creature, and the first thing he does is offer us psychology. Stick with your golden flask, and whatever my real request is. I got lots of self help books.”
“I am allowed to make you a special deal!”
Charley was drinking his tequila with gusto. “Here we are way up in the Canadian Rockies, and he has to go to the back room to talk to the Used Car Manager.”
The Genie smiled at that one. “To show you I truly have the magic, I will give you a special gift of gold, if you are not happy with one year under my advice. But you have to take my special advice this time.”
Max grumbled. “Why are we doin’ this for you?”
“Well, you see, this Genie business is not that effective in the long run. People don’t really need things. They need wisdom to integrate into their lives. People only ask for wealth or things to make their lives more fun; and then like as not, the gifts ruin them, or become an unimportant adornment to their sad lives. The Chairman says that if the Genie becomes motivated to become human, then he gives the most effective advice. What I tell you can change your life, and make you victorious!”
Charley practically finished his flask: “Let me go over this, because as you can see, I am the simplest of us. This year, you give us some advice. Next year, we come back here, and if we want, we get us a humongous gift. And if we don’t listen to you about your advice, it don’t matter. But, if we like your advice, we come back and have a coffee. And why do you wanna be one of us?”
“You are complex, and sometimes crazy, but you have a destiny. That’s all I can explain.”
He fixed a gaze on all three. All three of them stated that they were “all in”.
Max
The Genie spoke softly into Max’s ear. He put his right hand gently on his shoulder. “Max, you are strong. Very strong. And you are a good man. But you think you are deserving of all the good you have. You are self righteous. And you know what? The self-righteous are righteous, but they suffer from a cancer that eats away at everything. Your wife is about to leave you. Your kids can not stand you, even though they don’t openly rebel against you. People laugh at you at work because you are not real and you think so much of yourself. If you could fall into a puddle of tears in the privacy of your heart and just admit you are human and occasionally need forgiveness and understanding, and then let that sink into your mind and color your being, you would win back your wife, restore your children unto you, and get that long sought promotion at work, and then get more promotions, so that the last thing you will say in your career will be: “Oh, I don’t deserve that.”
Max walked away with a stunned look. Lou hesitated and the Genie sat next to him.
The Genie crossed his leg and sipped on a coffee. He offered another cup to Lou.
Lou
“Lou, you’re a great salesman and your personality was designed somewhere where other people can’t get them. For this reason, you are overwhelming. You boast much. You cuss much. You put everyone down who challenges you. None of this is so terribly bad. You are like lots of guys on Main Street America, in certain departments that really need them. Women tend to like guys like you in the beginning. However, you’re about to go broke; because your selfish needs always lead the way. You live off of your style. Getting lots of women in bed makes you feel fulfilled for awhile. You have to start living as if you will live beyond 35. Your life is already a wreck, and you know it. You go home and you think about the emptiness of having a damn boat when you use it once a year, and a house that is big just because you can afford it. But there are no noisy kids. No woman keeping your act together. Your life doesn’t have anything to grow into. It’s just going to shrivel up. Give up the booze. Get a management job. Try to keep a woman for more than 6 months, and stop and talk to total strangers in the park. And from year to year, there will be much more to do. Go this way, and your life will be a winner.”
Lou was weeping through a smile.
Charley
Charley kept drinking from his flask, but now the drink was coffee. “You changed it to coffee. Damn.”
“Charley, you suffer from a tiny self. You are saturated with envy and jealousy. You are such a quiet guy. Drinking lets you out. That’s why you like it so much. You look around and wonder how other people get their confidence. You wonder why people can argue with each other and not hate each other the next day. You mutter to yourself about handsome guys. You think they somehow did not deserve to be good looking. Pretty women are unattainable to you. What is funny is the women you have almost married have a beauty and sweetness that you have decided you don’t deserve. You think they will grow tired of you, and toss you aside after awhile. You are so smart and have a brilliant mind. You are the best engineer in your company. And yet you walk around like a mopey kid. You need to go on a grand Self Esteem Project. You can make changes, just as much as you can do all the things in your life that are easy. Don’t say “No” to the current woman you are dating. You are one more bad date away from losing her. Don’t lose her, man! And stop doing things that prove your self-prosecution!”
There was a silence after these sessions. They gathered their things together, headed down the mountain. The Genie disappeared.
A Year Later – Present Day
A year later, it was all strangely different. It was the brightest part of the day, with no clouds. The Sun made the local streams glisten and the unmelted peaks blaze. Their guide made the way so much plainer.
Charlie, Max and Lou stumbled into the main arena of the cave. It was already illumined with torches that the Guide had placed their hours before. They dropped back packs and made a fire in the flat stage of the main arena. Coffee was the brew of the day, a deep dark Arabica bean that the Guide had.
Charley was the most talkative. “I knew it. I knew it.”
“Didn’t you take his advice, and aren’t you happy that you did? Besides, you got that gold flask.” Lou said his peace.
Max just shook his head and looked up to the roof of the cave. Where ever he is, he can stay. His advice was great for me. Changed my life.”
Charley sipped on the coffee. “I just wanted to talk more to him. I guess he got his special deal. He did good by me.” He yelled out. “Hey Gene, you got some more coffee? This is so good. Hey Gene, do you think us Americans are crazy in what we’re talking about? Do you believe in Genies?”
“I am sure I wouldn’t know. Gotta start on the home trip in an hour. Let’s pace ourselves -- my new Jeans are chafing”.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Very interesting and entertaining article...full of lessons...Well written and well represented write up...Thanks Chris...Thanks very much Chiradeep. I hoped to shine a different light on the mystery of humanity.
Fabulous story Chris! I loved it. Such great wisdom shared with a clever twist. Nice.The reason I emphasized your Goodness in my comment to you last week is because your are a genuine human being with a real destiny. But you know what? Just between you and me, I don't think the Genie would have much to say to you! Thanks for the appreciation!
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