“Running Naked and Drunk in the Woods" Was Not So Bad In Ancient Greece!
Posted: Sunday, September 25, 2011
by Christofer French
Rain Dancer Associates, LLC
Several years ago, an old iron grating between two hill side houses revealed an entire strong box of clay tablets near the Acropolis in Athens. They were immediately unearthed and surrendered to the authorities.
Local archaeologists from the University of Athens immediately took up these tablets and began an extensive translation of the ancient Greek language contained therein.
Andronicos was accused of being a hypocrite. He grabbed his Campaign Manager and made his way to the public forum. There had been a slaying of the bull up in the forest, free and liberal drinking of wine and of course his usual companionship with the Maenads.
The question’s real point of the spear was: Was he really a Dionysian. Was he really there at the Festivities? If not, he was in danger of being (Saints Forbid) a Hypocrite (especially since the Greeks invented this word).
Sizablmos pointed his finger at Andronicos. “You Hypocrite. You claim to be a Dionysian, but you lie. You are a Hypocrite.”
Andronicos stood to speak to the assemblage. “My opponent has accused me of not consuming the mandatory 3 gallons of wine, not eating of the flesh of the sacrificed Bull, not enjoying the pleasure of at least 3 women, and not walking the fire and wandering in ecstasy through the forest in a glorious stupor! Well fellow citizens, that’s a funny one. Am not I known for walking around in the forest in a glorious stupor? My Zeus! More than that he has accused me of not being at the Drinkos Forest.”
Who is the one who Fears the Firewalking?
A few of Sizablmos and Secularides supporters began crying out: “Hypocrite, Hypocrite! Who is the sober one, sober one? Who is the one who denies women his body? Who is the one who fears the Fire Walking? Andronicos, Andronicos!!”
“Look I am as religious as my other two opponents. This is silly. I have been a worshipper of Dionysus all my life. I ran naked as an 18 year old in the local Dionysian play just a few years ago. I had impregnated three of my lovelies in the Big Feast five years ago.
The crowd began to stir. “Hypocrite, that dangerous accusation could be heard as they mumbled together.
I Wandered in the Forest in a State of Ecstacy!
Before I rise to my defense. I must say that the one who cries out Hypocrisy is not usually a Believer who is suffering a crisis of faith, he is usually a political opponent filled with the venom of his bite. That’s why it’s called politics, and not religion.
I was not at the Dionysian Festival at the Drinkos Forest. I was high in the Thracian Hills visiting my father and mother. It was there that I attended the Dionysian Festival in Thrace.
“I am not a hypocrite. I lay in ecstasy for days, consumed 7 bottles of wine, wandered in the forest in a state of ecstasy, had women with me constantly and I did the Fire Walk.”
The crowd hushed. He showed the bottom of his feet, still blackened from the Rite.
“I am as religious as any man! I am a true worshipper of the God Dionysus!
Dedicated to Bringing an End to Care and Worry
I am not a hypocrite. I am dedicated to bringing an end to care and worry. I am not a sober person.”
Secularides made his way quickly to the back of the crowd. He knew a retort was coming. “Secularides, are you here? They say at the last Festival, you got falling down drunk, and the women laughed at your lack of, uhum, we all know what, and, it has been said that you are such a drunk, that your family is advising you to be sober.”
“Sober” as a little serpentine word with quiet “s”s, bounced along through the animated crowd. Secularides slipped into the alley ways and made preparations to abandon his fight for local mayoral power.
“Now my fellow citizens. Let’s forget these accusations of hypocrisy. As you can see, this is all a misunderstanding. These gentlemen are after your votes, or spoken another way, they are desirous of ruining your affection for me. This is not a theological discussion or a logical discussion, this is one step short of assassination, and be sure, I take it that way. Let us send prayers to Dionysus for our brother, Secularides. And I am sure Sizablmos is ready to drop his accusation”.
There the translation ended. Notes were made that the tablets were broken and difficult to translate. They did however leave some notations.
Dionysus or Dionysus the Greek god of wine, represents not only the intoxicating power of wine, but also its social and beneficial influences. He was also known as Bacchus to the Romans. He is viewed as the promoter of agriculture and the theatre. He was also known as the Liberator (Eleutherios), freeing one from one's normal self, by madness, ecstasy, or wine. The divine mission of Dionysus was to mingle the music of the flute and to bring an end to care and worry.
The Dionysiac rites are thought to have survived into modern and past times in the rites of Anastenaria, still practiced to the present day by Greeks descended from Thracian populations displaced during the course of the Balkan wars. Though some scholars dispute this interpretation, most are of the opinion that the fire walking accompanied by ecstatic dancing, drumming, and forays into the woods or mountains by participants "possessed by the saint", as well as the preliminary animal sacrifice and distribution of meat to the village population, are at their origin not the Christian rites, but they are constructed, as by the villagers who perform them, anciently the rites of Dionysus.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)You are a wealth of information! An interesting read.It wasn't as funny as I wanted it to be. But yes, this was very informative, especially the balkan Christians who have ceremonies that go back to the Dionysians!.
Omigod, I'm definitely living in the wrong era!! How did religion become so prim and proper and dirgy? Take me back to wicked times, pleease!Jennifer: It was hard to be a hypocrite back then wasn't it?
Yours,
Christofer
Great article and just good fun, but it shows of course, no amount of fiction can ever match what really happens. I hope you used some poetic licence in what the tablets said, as I do this myself when I 'interview' my subjects. Thank you for the introduction to the Boomers, by the way. Us dinosuars have got to stick together1Yes. I honor you first because you have Journalistic tones. I can tell them all the way to the Rockies. My tablets, the discovery, the interpretation is all fiction. (Not the Facts of Dionysus) I did make it sound legit though didn't I? As you can tell, I was struck with the idea that "hypocrisy" is such an easy claim to make these days; and yet if you went back far enough the claim could be downright funny. Trying to stay light hearted in these days when so many people write with clenched teeth. Somehow it affects both their writing and their thinking. Welcome. Looking forward to your work.
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