An Unexpected Baby, the Villain and Nellie and the Unfortunate Farmer
Posted: Friday, November 25, 2011
by Christofer French
Rain Dancer Associates, LLC
At the French Household in the 80's, Grandpa Burt would delight the young Grandkids and his Kids and In Laws with a recounting of his act when he was jumping from small town to small town between Boston and Cleveland as a young actor in the 40's. It delighted us all because he acted with voices they had never heard. And it was silly and funny, a sweet way to bring the generations together for a brief time after a full Thanksgiving Dinner.
(One Actor with Four Hats on a Table in Front of him. Burt French did this old Act, originally coming from the Vaudeville circuits of the 1890's. The Hats move back and forth with the dialogue change and of course a "scrunched up" face for each character. Burt would use an old hick accent for the Farmer, a high-pitched nasality for Nellie, an elegant corrupt voice for the Villain and a Throaty accent for the Constable).
Farmer:
“Twas a dark and stormy night when my Nellie went away
Never will forget it ’til my dying day.
She was sweet 16 and the Village Queen
Prettiest Little Gal the Village Ever Seen.
Town aint the same since my Nellie went away
Cows won’t milk and the hens won’t lay;
So, in this window, I place a little light
40 below zero, God, what a night.
Knock, knock a knock knock. Knock Knock
Farmer:
“Who’s that knockin at my door?”
Nellie:
“It’s your little daughter, Nellie, Don’t you know her anymore?”
Farmer:
“Don’t come in this house with that there child?”
Nellie:
“Father, dear Father, you’re a drivin’ me wild.
But I’ll get the man that caused me all this pain.”
“So, Mean he wouldn’t even give his child a middle name”.
Farmer:
“Well, what become of the actor friend, that used to call you honey,
Did he turn you out, when you asked him for some money?”
Nellie:
“Sly, young fellow, and he lies with ease,
Has more girls than a dog has fleas
But as I said before as I came through the door
I’ll get that guy, cause I’m plenty sore.
Knock, Knockeldy, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock
(Villain enters to Boos)
Villain:
“Stay there stay there me proud beauty.
Give me back that baby, or I’ll do my duty!”
Farmer:
“You interfere, you’re just as good as dead
I’ll get my shot gun and fill you full of lead.”
Villain:
“I can do you a lot of harm
I’ve got the mortgage to your gosh darn farm.”
Nellie:
He’s got us where he wants us Paw
The gosh darned brute!
Villain:
“You’d bet I have so you’d better not shoot.”
Knock, Knockldy, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock
“Who’s that comin, sounds like a Mule
Aint no mule, Ya gosh darned fool,
Can’t you tell by my badge I’m the Constabule?
Well, what’s it all about?
Come on now tell.”
He aint done right by my Little Nell.”
(Hats change back and forth between Farmer and Villain)
Did too.
Did not.
Did too.
Did not.
Did too.
Did not.
Constabule:
“What did he do? What did he do?
What’s all the harm that he’s brung to you?”
Farmer:
He wrecked my Farm,
And he ruint my daughter.
Constabule:
Reckon you outa charge him
A dollar and a quarter!
Moderator:
Which all goes to show, the price of sin,
Tomorrow night we play East Lynn.
This Article has been viewed 392 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)You paint a picture so well, Christofer, I was completely drawn in again - to the scene of your grandfather being the entertainer, and to the scene he was acting out. Delightful indeed. Thanks :)I went through this about 10 times throughout my youth. It is a moving picture in TIME. Quite a memory. I was fun watching the young kids watching Burt make all those faces. He was so dignified, and then suddenly, he would break into all those voicies and characterizations. Thanks so much, Jennifer.
Applause Applause- The artist does indeed run clean in your blood-I wish I could've known old Burt- could have listened to him for hours.......enjoyed this Chris-Thanks- EllaBurt was a real surprise. And he would have loved all of your appreciation.
I enjoyed reading this little story ... very entertaining indeed.Thank you so much, Jessie.
another good one.Thanks so much.
We have great memories of certain people, and you tell it so well. Obviously, you inherited his talent......Thanks, loved the story.
My mother's family was musical, and each played an instrument, a lot of blue grass, and a lot of silly songs (Little Brown Jug, Froggy Went A Courtin, When I was Single, etc) all bring back memories of get togethers.Its one of those things in life that makes everyone smile. Thanks for your attention and appreciation.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.